2 september 2015

Hösten

Dessa två senaste dagarna har det känts som hösten är på väg. I eftermiddags efter vattningen av tomaterna stängde jag dörren helt till växthuset för att ge dem lite extra värme och mys, det har jag inte gjort mycket i sommar om än det varit en usel sommar ändå. Augusti är den tid som faktiskt gottgjort lite av den horribla sommaren, nu har det varit fint och skönt men det hade inte skadat med några fler veckor av varmt väder...

Men, hösten är ändå en tid jag gillar så jag önskar verkligen en lång och skön höst. Svamp. Sköna koftor. Rotfrukter. Filtmys. Gula löv. Cykelturer omgiven av höstdoft. Ja, ni fattar.


27 augusti 2015

Om att få fler barn...

För flera år sedan skrev jag om att vi valt att vänta med att skaffa fler barn och jag måste säga att det varit skönt att känna att vi kan ta det lugnt och landa i att vi har ett underbart barn och det faktiskt inte är en del av en familj utan en hel familj det också. Nu har vi nog kommit till den punkt där vi kan säga att vår familj har fått en längtan att få bli fler. Lilla Bus vill ha ett snippbarn och har diverse fantasifulla namnförslag som jag inte kommer gå med på. Jag köpte ett gravidplagg som ett bevis på att drömmen lever och mannen suckar och längtar när han träffar bäbisar.

Vet jag att det kommer bli barn? Nej, och det är OK. Har vi en plan? Kanske, men människan spår och gud rår. Skulle vi bli glada? Absolut!


Kanske igen...

Tidsinställt inlägg

26 augusti 2015

Om mig

Sedan jag först skrev om min könsidentitet så har jag jobbat med mig själv och med att upptäcka mig själv med hela mig tillgängligt för mig själv. Jag har börjat sitta mer bredbent och inte skämmas, tala med min riktiga röst och sakta börjat utforska de klädval jag inte riktigt vågat utforska. Det låter så futtigt att prata om mina rädslor för vissa kläder, en rädsla som bottnat i rädslan att bli avslöjad.

Jag gillar hängslen tex, visst är det oskyldigt men det är just nu nyligen jag vågat börja använda hängslen ibland. Det är en obehaglig och befriande känsla att ha dem, för några helger sedan så vandrade jag runt i jeans, hängslen och linne. Samtidigt som det är befriande blir det nästan lite skamfyllt att konfrontera sig själv med sina fjantiga rädslor som jag vet att andra inte bär med sig. Det är självklart inte mitt fel, jag är den jag är, men jag har mött så mycket fler känslor än jag trott sedan jag berättade vem jag är. Nu har jag köpt lite skjortor och njuter av att få leka med och utforska min mer maskulina sida när jag i många år kunnat låta min kvinnliga sida få blomma ut. Hela jaget ska få finnas, synas och höras.

2 augusti 2015

Funderat lite...

Jag har ägnat en del tid till att läsa och fundera på senaste tiden och nyligen hittade jag en debattartikel från i juni som jag missat helt: I förorten växer männens diktatur. Jag tyckte att det fanns vettiga poänger i texten även om den också missar mycket av målet. Denna text tycker jag uttrycker en del av det jag själv tänkte: Förenkla inte debatten om förtryck. Jag erkänner att jag blir väldigt provocerad när folk slätar över förtryck mot kvinnor som definitivt förekommer bara för att de som förtrycker råkar vara invandrare. Jag betvivlar inte på något sätt vad Amina Kakabaveh säger i artikeln i Expressen det jag invänder mot är att i denna text så känns det som att det målas med väldigt bred pensel vem som upprätthåller detta förtryck. Jag hittade detta utdrag från ETC tillgängligt gratis där Amina Kakabaveh uttalar sig igen och jag tycker att hon här lyckas bättre med att balansera vad hon vill säga: Hedersförtryck fanns före alla religioner. Även om jag inte håller med henne om att barn under 18år inte ska få använda religiösa symboler så är det viktigt det hon vill säga, att hedersförtryck existerar och att det drabbar kvinnors frihet och möjligheter att leva livet som de vill. Att jobba emot hederskulturen kommer inte hota religiös och kulturell frihet men att inte göra det hotar människors rätt till att välja alla de vägar som faktiskt finns tillgängliga för dem.

Precis som Amina kan jag inte tycka det är OK att flickor inte känner sig bekväma eller ens känner att de får göra något så oskyldigt som att gå på café, det ska faktiskt alla känna att de kan göra i ett demokratiskt samhälle. Man måste också när man är vuxen känna att man kan välja sina kläder själv och är man en nästan vuxen tonåring bör man få så mycket frihet som möjligt i detta val och att välja kläder man själv vill ha, för yngre barn anser jag att man som förälder kan och ska ha mer inflytande och det är här man har chansen att påverka barnets vuxna val senare. Har man inte lyckats övertyga barnet om nödvändigheten av en viss typ av klädsel vid tonåren kanske man måste låta dem prova själva? Jag tror vi alla vill ha ett samhälle där man tillåts att tryggt prova saker för att växa som människa.

8 juli 2015

More marriage questions

I also found some questions to people who do not believe in same sex marriage. I am not as can be seen from a previous post but I thought that it would be interesting for someone who is not to answer these questions to get a reference if you read someone who is in fact against same sex marriage to see what is different.

Do you accept that sexual orientation is not a choice? 
Yes.
Do you accept that sexual orientation is highly resistant to attempts to change it?
Yes.
How many meaningful relationships with lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) people do you have? I am genderqueer myself so we are one of these couples. Outside this I have no close friends who are LGBTQ+ but some relatives and more distant friends. I am not really in the community at all but open to be friends with people regardless of sexuality.
How many openly LGBT people would say you are one of their closest friends?
None.
How much time have you spent in one-on-one conversation with LGBT Christians about their faith and sexuality? 
A little bit with a former colleague.
Do you accept that heterosexual marriage is not a realistic option for most gay people?
I would say it is not an option for any gay people only for bisexuals should they choose to marry someone of the opposite sex. I would never advice a gay or lesbian to marry a person of the opposite sex.
Do you accept that lifelong celibacy is the only valid option for most gay people if all same-sex relationships are sinful? 
Yes, and it is always a valid option for anyone not drawn to marriage but gay people who want to marry should be able to do so.
How many gay brothers and sisters in Christ have you walked with on the path of mandatory celibacy, and for how long? 
None that I know of.
What is your answer for gay Christians who struggled for years to live out a celibacy mandate but were driven to suicidal despair in the process? 
God loves you and has not left you at any point during this journey. He will not leave you now regardless of choice even if your choice is to not marry but still have sex. God is never out of anyone's life who wants him there. Also, if there is anything I can do to help you, let me know.
Has mandatory celibacy produced good fruit in the lives of most gay Christians you know? 
As I do not know anyone who has made this choice this question cannot be answered.
How many married same-sex couples do you know? 

Do you believe that same-sex couples’ relationships can show the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? 
Without a shadow of doubt.
Do you believe that it is possible to be a Christian and support same-sex marriage in the church? 
Absolutely.
Do you believe that it is possible to be a Christian and support slavery? If not, do you believe that Martin Luther, John Calvin, and Jonathan Edwards were not actually Christians because they supported slavery?
I do not say that this and that person is a Christian or not. I believe that we are all born with a spark from god and enslaving another person is like enslaving god, so I would see slave ownership as sinful despite previous understandings of Christianity. I do not think god judges Christians from previous eras who could not see beyond the system of slavery as harshly as he does someone who would advocate for slavery now though. I do think that god understands how we are affected by the environment we live in and that this might produce more or less of certain sins. 
Do you think supporting same-sex marriage is a more serious problem than supporting slavery? 
I think that slavery is much worse than same sex marriage.
Did you spend any time studying the Bible’s passages about slavery before you felt comfortable believing that slavery is wrong? 
Yes, in fact I did.
Does it cause you any concern that Christians throughout most of church history would have disagreed with you? 
Yes, it grieves me that we did not see the evils of slavery on a greater scale at an earlier point.
Did you know that, for most of church history, Christians believed that the Bible taught the earth stood still at the center of the universe? Yes.
Does it cause you any concern that you disagree with their interpretation of the Bible? 
No.
Did you spend any time studying the Bible’s verses on the topic before you felt comfortable believing that the earth revolves around the sun? 
No.
Do you know of any Christian writers before the 20th century who acknowledged that gay people must be celibate for life due to the church’s rejection of same-sex relationships? 
No but I must say that I am not as well read of earlier Christian writer as I would have liked to be. However, I have a job, child, husband and precious little time to read such books at this point in life.
If not, might it be fair to say that mandating celibacy for gay Christians is not a traditional position? 
It might be, I do not know.
Do you believe that the Bible explicitly teaches that all gay Christians must be single and celibate for life? 
No.
If not, do you feel comfortable affirming something that is not explicitly affirmed in the Bible? 
No, that is one of the reasons why I support same sex marriage.
Do you believe that the moral distinction between lust and love matters for LGBT people’s romantic relationships? Yes.
Do you think that loving same-sex relationships should be assessed in the same way as the same-sex behavior Paul explicitly describes as lustful in Romans 1?
No, I do not think this passage refers to loving committed same sex relationships but to adultery where someone is also trying to claim they are not adulterous on a technicality.
Do you believe that Paul’s use of the terms “shameful” and “unnatural” in Romans 1:26-27 means that all same-sex relationships are sinful? 
No.
Would you say the same about Paul’s description of long hair in men as “shameful” and against “nature” in 1 Corinthians 11:14, or would you say he was describing cultural norms of his time? 
I am a bit conflicted on this issue. I think that for a man who identifies as a man it is not OK to actively try to look and act like a woman but that this does not apply to trans people. I do not think that long hair in men is inherently wrong though but this is an example of a man acting feminine that the people reading Paul in his day would understand. I am open to more interpretations though and I would not say that a person who would understand this verse in its literal sense is wrong, I do think a Christian can believe long hair in men to be wrong at all times.
Do you believe that the capacity for procreation is essential to marriage?
I do believe that an openness to children is part of marriage but that this does not exclude infertile couples or gay people from marrying as there are a number of ways to allow them to have children. 
If so, what does that mean for infertile heterosexual couples? I believe that they too should have an openness to having children and that they like gay people should evaluate options to have children. 
How much time have you spent engaging with the writings of LGBT-affirming Christians like Justin Lee, James Brownson, and Rachel Murr? 
I have not read anything by these Christans but hope to do so.
What relationship recognition rights short of marriage do you support for same-sex couples? 
I believe in allowing marriage equality so I do not support alternatives when marriage is possible. 
What are you doing to advocate for those rights? 
No answer.
Do you know who Tyler Clementi, Leelah Alcorn, and Blake Brockington are, and did your church offer any kind of prayer for them when their deaths made national news? 
Sadly I do not know these people as I am not American and I cannot remember anything being reported about them in my country. If they are dead or hurt I am truly sorry for this.
Do you know that LGBT youth whose families reject them are 8.4 times more likely to attempt suicide than LGBT youth whose families support them? 
No, but I would assume all people need support from those they love.
Have you vocally objected when church leaders and other Christians have compared same-sex relationships to things like bestiality, incest, and pedophilia? 
Yes, I have, I unfortunately know a person who holds such views. I think ze was disgusted when I suggest ze might be wrong and did in fact know what the Bible said in the passages ze felt were about homosexuality and could tell this person how I understand these passages. Ze also holds the belief that Christians who do not agree are just not informed about what the Bible says and here I was knowing what it said.
How certain are you that God’s will for all gay Christians is lifelong celibacy? 
I believe it is the same way it is to some straight or bisexual people. Celibacy is a valid option but one that most of us cannot handle.
What do you think the result would be if we told all straight teenagers in the church that if they ever dated someone they liked, held someone’s hand, kissed someone, or got married, they would be rebelling against God? 
Chaos. 
Are you willing to be in fellowship with Christians who disagree with you on this topic? 
Yes, but only if they do not use hateful language towards LGBTQ+ people. It is possible to be against same sex marriage and still be respectful of those that disagree and to LGBTQ+ people. I do accept that there are several interpretations of the bible some which I do not agree with.

7 juli 2015

Marriage equality questions


I decided quite some time ago that I would no longer blog in English. The reason for this is that it is not my emotional language and I can speak my mind much more easily in my native Swedish. However, when I saw these questions to "Christians waving rainbow flags" I had to have a go.


1. How long have you believed that gay marriage is something to be celebrated?


Since before my conversion or should I say before my acceptance of my childhood baptism. I was scared at first after I was saved that I would have to accept a view about same-sex relationships that was either non-Biblical or non-accepting but thankfully I was quickly lead to see that this was not the case.


2. What Bible verses led you to change your mind?


No minds were changed.


3. How would you make a positive case from Scripture that sexual activity between two persons of the same sex is a blessing to be celebrated?


I believe love is obtainable for people of all sexual orientations and that if you are faithful and considerate of your partner there is no more and no less celebration to a same sexed or different sexed couple.


4. What verses would you use to show that a marriage between two persons of the same sex can adequately depict Christ and the church?


Gal 3:28 say we are no longer man or woman so why is the sex of the partners in a marriage so important?


5. Do you think Jesus would have been okay with homosexual behavior between consenting adults in a committed relationship?


Yes.


6. If so, why did he reassert the Genesis definition of marriage as being one man and one woman?


Did he? What about Matt 19:10-12, why is he so willing to heal the centurion's boy if he is against the possible relationship between them? He doesn't judge him nor does he put any condition up for healing his "boy" though Jesus is probably fully aware of the fact that they might have a sexual relationship. Sure, he does not say "this is a marriage" but he could have said so many things that he didn't.


7. When Jesus spoke against porneia what sins do you think he was forbidding?


Prostitution and sex outside the marriage which is harmful to people.


8. If some homosexual behavior is acceptable, how do you understand the sinful “exchange” Paul highlights in Romans 1?


He is talking about sexual immorality which takes place between people of the same sex. However, he is also talking about people leaving their natural state, that is he is talking about heterosexual people who commits adultery with someone of the same sex and not people whose natural tendency is love towards their own sex. I see people who believe they can cheat the strong commands for fidelity in the Bible by having sex with someone of their own sex "I'm not cheating on my wife with another woman so I am technically not cheating" is kind of what I think it means. I believe this is strongly condemned by god and seen as very hypocritical.


9. Do you believe that passages like 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Revelation 21:8 teach that sexual immorality can keep you out of heaven?


Yes, I do think that sexual immorality can keep you from having a successful relationship with god which can also lead to not getting into heaven.


10. What sexual sins do you think they were referring to?


Mainly not honoring your promise to god to be faithful to your spouse and rape and other types of non-consensual sex.


11. As you think about the long history of the church and the near universal disapproval of same-sex sexual activity, what do you think you understand about the Bible that Augustine, Aquinas, Calvin, and Luther failed to grasp?


I don't know. I am humble and I can only assume that the Holy Spirit is with me when I read the Bible.


12. What arguments would you use to explain to Christians in Africa, Asia, and South America that their understanding of homosexuality is biblically incorrect and your new understanding of homosexuality is not culturally conditioned?̈́


I don't tell them they are wrong, I tell them what I believe and why, it is up to them to change if the like.


13. Do you think Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were motivated by personal animus and bigotry when they, for almost all of their lives, defined marriage as a covenant relationship between one man and one woman?


I have no views about these people.


14. Do you think children do best with a mother and a father?


Yes and no. I believe children need loving caring individuals in their lives which may be a father and an mother but do not have to be. Sometimes it is definitely for the best for a child to live with someone other than mom and dad.


15. If not, what research would you point to in support of that conclusion?


This view is formed by the people I have around me and I have seen successful families of several different kinds.


16. If yes, does the church or the state have any role to play in promoting or privileging the arrangement that puts children with a mom and a dad?


I am not really sure what you mean by this question. I believe the state has a role to play in supporting loving people to take care of their kids whether they are men or women and that families should not be broken up easily but I do not think one form of family should be supported more than any other if they work.


17. Does the end and purpose of marriage point to something more than an adult’s emotional and sexual fulfillment?


The purpose of marriage is up to the people getting married. I have a traditional view in that I believe that marriage should have an openness to the idea of children but that does not exclude gay people according to me nor does it exclude infertile couples. There are ways to have children even if you cannot produce them easily yourself such as adoption and fertility treatments of different kinds. I do however believe that there are other valid views on marriage than my own.


18. How would you define marriage?


Marriage is a union between two people and there should be an openness to the idea of children unless the couple is too old for this to be wise. I believe that the people getting married should ideally love each other or at least have a very strong


19. Do you think close family members should be allowed to get married?

I hope you are not seriously suggesting that incest and same-sex marriage is the same.


20. Should marriage be limited to only two people?

As Christians, yes, I do think marriage should be between two people but I would be unsupportive of opening marriage to more people legally but I do not feel this is in line with Christianity.


21. On what basis, if any, would you prevent consenting adults of any relation and of any number from getting married?

I would not.


22. Should there be an age requirement in this country for obtaining a marriage license?

Yes, I think marriage is a matter for adults.


23. Does equality entail that anyone wanting to be married should be able to have any meaningful relationship defined as marriage?

Legally this is up to the country you live in but religiously it is a different matter. I do believe marriage involves two adults who have a wish to live together out of strong feelings for each other and other people who do not fulfill these criteria should not get married.


24. If not, why not?

Marriage is still marriage even if it refers to same-sex couples.


25. Should your brothers and sisters in Christ who disagree with homosexual practice be allowed to exercise their religious beliefs without fear of punishment, retribution, or coercion?

Of course.


26. Will you speak up for your fellow Christians when their jobs, their accreditation, their reputation, and their freedoms are threatened because of this issue?

If they are harassed, surely. Would I allow them to spew out hatred about their gay brothers and sisters in Christ in the name of religion, hell no. You are allowed to disagree but not hate on people.


27. Will you speak out against shaming and bullying of all kinds, whether against gays and lesbians or against Evangelicals and Catholics?

Bullying yes, allowing hate speak, no.


28. Since the evangelical church has often failed to take unbiblical divorces and other sexual sins seriously, what steps will you take to ensure that gay marriages are healthy and accord with Scriptural principles?

I agree that high numbers of divorce and infidelity is a huge problem even among Christians but I expect the same fidelity and commitment to marriage from all marriages.


29. Should gay couples in open relationships be subject to church discipline?

I do not think open relationships are OK for Christians.


30. Is it a sin for LGBT persons to engage in sexual activity outside of marriage?

Yes.


31. What will open and affirming churches do to speak prophetically against divorce, fornication, pornography, and adultery wherever they are found?

Discuss how love and care for each other should be the foundation of marriage. Offer counselling.


32. If “love wins,” how would you define love?

No good answer really.


33. What verses would you use to establish that definition?

See above.


34. How should obedience to God’s commands shape our understanding of love?

If we talk about the love for our god, yes, then I think so.


35. Do you believe it is possible to love someone and disagree with important decisions they make?

Absolutely.


36. If supporting gay marriage is a change for you, has anything else changed in your understanding of faith?

No change.


37. As an evangelical, how has your support for gay marriage helped you become more passionate about traditional evangelical distinctives like a focus on being born again, the substitutionary sacrifice of Christ on the cross, the total trustworthiness of the Bible, and the urgent need to evangelize the lost?

I do not define "evangelical" like you do. My church is Evangelical and Lutheran but very open to different views. I believe the Bible is trustworthy but not necessarily easy to understand. I believe the most effective evangelicalization is living a good Christian life. I had a defining moment of being saved and if you like "born again" as I do not see myself as the same human being as I was before but plenty of my friends have never felt touched by god the same way I was and they seem to be devote Christians too so I am not sure it is always this way. I believe we can understand the death on the cross in several ways.


38. What open and affirming churches would you point to where people are being converted to orthodox Christianity, sinners are being warned of judgment and called to repentance, and missionaries are being sent out to plant churches among unreached peoples?

I have no interest in what other churches do. My church helps people all over the world in various ways including finding a relationship with god and we do discuss repentance in Church so I guess my own would qualify.


39. Do you hope to be more committed to the church, more committed to Christ, and more committed to the Scriptures in the years ahead?

Yes, of course


40. When Paul at the end of Romans 1 rebukes “those who practice such things” and those who “give approval to those who practice them,” what sins do you think he has in mind?

See above, adultery and any sex that is forced upon someone.

Some of these questions are really hard to answer and some are insulting to my intelligence and to the honest hearts of Christians who believe in marriage equality but I have given it a go. Are my answers perfect, no, but they are one person's relatively fast answers to many complex questions. I will go back to more marriage equality questions later.

5 juli 2015

Hur länge ska du vara ledig?
Tyvärr blir det bara 4 veckor i sommar. R har ingen semester så det blir jag och Lilla Bus som får hänga tillsammans mestadels.
Vilken del av sommaren ser du mest fram emot?
Jag har planerat åka till Boden vilket säkert blir kul speciellt när vi välkomnat en liten till släkten, min systerson har blivit pappa alldeles nyss. Lilla Bus kusiner är ju så gamla jämfört med henne att de inte är några vidare lekkamrater men med några kusinbarn så kan det ju bli kul att åka till släkten framöver. Sedan tidigare finns lilla A som är barn till min brorsdotter.
Vad kommer du shoppa inför semestern?
Jag tror inte jag kommer shoppa något speciellt inför just semestern. Jag har planer att köpa mig en trevlig klänning och kanske något eller några fler plagg men inte specifikt till semestern. I dagarna har jag handlat en hel del saker till Bus men det är ju för att det är hennes födelsedag och inte för att det är semester.
Vilken pryl kommer uppskatta mest i sommar? 
Ingen aning, en av böckerna jag lånat på bibblan kanske?
Var kommer du att rensa?
Jag ska försöka rensa lite allmänt bland våra saker, nyligen har jag rensat kläder från mig själv så det vet jag att jag inte kommer behöva rensa i sommar. Jag hoppas orka lägga upp några auktioner på tradera i höst med Bus gamla kläder och sortera ut de kläder jag inte ska behålla från henne i storlekar kring 86-92.
Vad äter du helst i sommar?
Jordgubbar, grönsaksstavar med dipp, glass, kaffe i solen, goda soppor kanske en liten whiskey men inte allt på en gång i samma skål.
Vad kommer stressa dig i sommar?
När Bus gnäller, när hon vill gå ut och jag inte vill. Städning och org
Vilket är bästa sommarstället?

London.
Var badar du helst?
Badar nästan var som helst men det blir väl troligast mest i Nydalasjön.
Vad läser du i sommar?
Jag har lånat två historiska deckare av Carolina Eriksson, en brevbiografi om Brontë-familjen och en tjock engelsk bok jag inte tror jag kommer hinna läsa.
Hur kommer du minnas semestern när du ser tillbaka på den i september?
Säkerligen som "underbart är kort".

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